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The Role of Sex in a Strong Marriage

By: Kari Hoopes

Oprah looked astonished and surprised as she listened to one her guests tell about how she and her husband have sex every single night, almost without exception. I caught a few moments of this show one day while folding laundry or doing some household tasks and it really grabbed my attention, as it would any married woman. The guest on Oprah's show continued to say how much the simple act of having sex every night with her husband has changed their married lives; in many different aspects. The couple, who has children, expressed how much happier they are in their daily lives, how the couples communication is so much stronger, and how their entire household is a happier place to be. How is it that just having sex on a regular basis can accomplish this sort of outcome? Is it more to sex than simple pleasure?

The act of sex between a married couple has many depths witch complexly affect their relationship and those directly around them. Once you are in a committed and long term relationship like marriage, sex becomes an invaluable tool for stabilizing, strengthening, and putting deep intimacy into your everyday marriage.

The woman on Oprah claimed having sex with her husband on a daily basis has strengthened their relationship as a couple. She said she and her husband did not have sex regularly for many years and that their relationship was not as intimate or as selfless as she would have liked. She and her husband were regularly on edge, which also meant their children were not as happy as they could be. She decided one day that something selfless she could do to create greater intimacy in their marriage was to have sex every night with her husband. Wow! The results were amazing. After a few weeks she really started to see a difference in almost every aspect of their marriage. Suddenly, they were communicating better, they were more playful during the day, and the children were happier because mom and dad were happier.

Now, sex does not replace in any way direct efforts and selfless acts of kindness in a marriage relationship. Every marriage demands daily work and sex cannot replace these efforts. However, is does, in a healthy marriage, enhance happiness and enhance the drive to be selfless and closer everyday and in every way.

Where regular intimacy is taking place between a husband and wife emotional and physical needs are therefore being met. When these needs are filled, there is less room for undesirable feelings like selfishness, spite, or frustration to creep in. Love is regularly being expressed in one of the most intimate of ways. This means that both the husband and wife are regularly sustaining their attractiveness to one another, their desire to be close and connect to one another. A Man and a Woman who are daily being told by each other in such a way that they are wanted, needed, and cared about has a very strong foundation in which to build and maintain a healthy marriage.

In looking at sex and the marriage relationship, maybe sex is not so simple a thing, but an invaluable tool for fulfilling basic human emotional needs.

Kari Hoopes is an investor, entrepreneur, and writer. Her most recent venture is the popular Sweetly You Bath and Body company (http://www.sweetlyyou.com )


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Sex and Marriage